Cctv Commentator Gifts

Man in Gents toilet being watched by CCTV

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

Boris in Lockdown

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.

Pundits

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

Obama II

'OK, now you've seen it...'

The Climate Change Debate Explained

'We can monitor e-mails and phone calls of everyone in this world but we can't touch Obamacare.'

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Covid-19 Leadership

Pandemic Jeopardy

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

Burning

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

One Thing is Free

Good Things About the Iraq War

Precisely Inprecise

It's Like the US Isn't Even Trying to Lie Convincingly About War Anymore

Trump's Nuclear Classified Document Scandal

"It's too academic."

Shop signs: then vs. now

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

Hook them with a crisis.

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

"...No, he can't really fly...no, the bad guys really don't have a ray gun...no, this cereal really isn't the best food in the whole world...no, it won't make you as strong as a giant..."

'Not that one - he's had his head blown off, so that's alright.'

The Great Hunter