Communications Commentator Gifts

"Yes, I can talk. I got the wife on vibrate."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"National security adviser"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

"We live in the golden age of fake news, alternative facts and spin control. Your resume is too truthful."

'The recession is over, again.'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

'He bowed lower for me than for you.'

'Cartoonist thinking'

How logos change over time.

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

"We do have on item the internet hasn't already beaten into the ground, ad nauseam."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

Antler Buzzers.

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"What we need in this organisation is more personal contact."

Telephone line ends up buried in the ground with a headstone.

Sports Radio in Crisis

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

'Have your people facebook my people.'

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

Sir Patrick Moore.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Tree of Public Opinion.

'If we are to reorientate our forward facing rhetorical platform we must rephrase our message to cross fertilise the core message..holistically!'

Facelook

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Don't use live interviews as rehearsals-practise and prepare.

'In our press release, stress that our strategic focus will be on solving society's problems. This is code for making a bundle of money.'