Communication Commentator Gifts

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"You' re not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Phone towers cause cancer tumours

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

No, you idiots, they don't include a "comments" section.

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'The recession is over, again.'

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

"But the good news is Trump has broken off diplomatic relations with them only on Twitter..."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

Antler Buzzers.

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

Sports Radio in Crisis

Sir Patrick Moore.

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Tree of Public Opinion.

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

The United States of Amazement

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Chess on TV