Communication Commentator Pillows

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

"You' re not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?"

Phone towers cause cancer tumours

"I never want to speak to you again, but I'm find with sex and other non-verbal activities."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

"Whoever made Keir Starmer did a sound professional job."

'The recession is over, again.'

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"‘Click’, you have reached the White House, press 1 for shameless groveling, 2 for presidential pardons, and please have your credit card details ready..."

'Cartoonist thinking'

"What's an imagination? It was something kids used to enjoy before they invented video games."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

Antler Buzzers.

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

'Being an opera buff, I naturally assumed she said "I'm taking you to the met"!'

'He hasn't played a game yet, but there are people who have started whinging about him already.'

Sports Radio in Crisis

"We've stared at the election map for so long it's become a Magic Eye poster."

Carl Shurz's attacks on President Grant are 'Played Out'

Dispute between Pelosi and Trump

"Lord, save my ass from this Russia debacle, please!"

Tree of Public Opinion.

The National Institute for Advanced Talk-Show Punditry.

And now, for a rebuttal.

'Oh man, he just nailed that triple entendre... that all but guarantees him a medal.'

'The following program contains scenes that may not be appropriate for Neoconservatives.'

The United States of Amazement

"Actually, we will replace you."

"Is there someone have called Frobisher?"

Cruz and Fiorina: DetesTED and DetestETTE

"Honey, come quick! This guy in the comment section just solved the Middle East crisis."

"This is gonna be great!"

"And a final note: Perception officially become reality."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"