Communication Critics Pillows

'Mr. Clark will text you now.'

"This isn't a sales call? Aren't all calls, in the final analysis, sales calls?"

Damn, cell phone!

Support SABA - the society for the abolition of acronyms...

"You've all been convicted of not answering your texts in a timely manner. After this mandatory class, you will be released back into society."

"Everyone at Megadrug is committed to the benefits of spoken therapies, which is why we developed 'nitrazone' to enhance the experience."

"See..? We told you there was nothing there..."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Hey, wait a minute! Isn't that our TV cable?"

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

Charlie Beck Loves Austin Beutner

"Hot off the wire! In the latest poll, 99% of voters say they will be glad when the election is over... The poll has an error rate of plus or minus 2%."

"I don't have any opinions, and my wife things whatever Oprah thinks,."

"You can't say that to a customer!"

'Occupy Wall Street protesters?'

"Today on the ask Sadie show, we'll be addressing one single topic: 'Wolverine.' Specifically, we'll be talking about how most of you freaks who were obsessed with it for months are no longer talking about it. You people today have the attention span of a chimpanzee!!! That's an average of about 20 seconds, for those of you who still remember what I just said."

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

'Never, Ever...believe everything you read.'

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

'Text your leader and tell him I'm here.'

"This is like the time you had me sell water as a 'diet drink'."

In doctor's surgery: 'I'm terribly worried, doctor...he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly anymore.'

Soap Opera

Virtual interview.

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

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