Communication Critiques Pillows

'I'm getting mixed signals. First the boss tells me that I never really caught fire around here then he tells me that I suffer from burnout.'

"Don't even interact with him. He just likes to say 'Kalamazoo.'"

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Are all Brits bisexual, or just the ones who publish their diaries?"

Here's the Weird Anti-Terrorist Trash Talk That Stayed on Donald Trump's Cutting Room Floor After the Manchester Attack

"Well, at least it's an improvement from last night."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"Tell me, Chuck, is barbarism the natural state of mankind, and will it ultimately triumph?"

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

"So I'm like, doesn't anyone speak proper English any more?"

'Those viewers who disagree with our editorial on TV violence has better keep their big mouths shut!'

Native Habitats: Trump/Lies

"The end of 'Shark Week' is near!"

A man watches TV while wearing a Marshall McLuhan sweatshirt.

"I always know what Harry's going to say, and he always knows what I'm going to say, so, by and large, we just don't bother."

"Do you mind if I not listen while you talk?"

'I'm not sure if it's the programs or the commercials, but one is supposed to be a lot worse than the other.'

"Mrs. Stiltz asked Jean to ask Genie to ask..."

"I'm sorry, Tom, you'll have to come in. I can't diagnose just from your tweets!"

"I owe you an apology. When you bought that muzzle, I was mad because I assumed you bought it for your dog."

The Ultimate Reality TV Show: Apathy Island

'This unexpectedly concludes tonight's program -- the sponsor bailed out.'

Precisely Inprecise

"This conversation is being performed in front of a live audience."

"Actually, there is such a thing as a stupid question, and you've just asked it."

'Doing this with his e-mails made more impact than sending them.'

"And now...here to spew his unique brand of unhinged babble and utter nonsense, let's welcome my guest..."

"There's no need to take notes. I have no idea what I'm talking about."

Pete Hegseth Military Caricature

NBC's Amazingly Exciting Exclusive Wrong Story

BBC radio one... Please Leave Your Brain at the Door