Workplace Communication Critic Pillows

"I don't want a G.O.A.T, I want a S.C.A.P.E.G.O.A.T."

"Here comes a client I must speak to. Excuse me while I slip into some jargon."

"I think before we begin to address me, we need to talk about the clown in the room."

'The sole reason I haven't talked to my wife for five years, is that I was too polite to interrupt her...'

"You knew this was a soul-sucking job when you took it."

"A few years ago, you management gurus told us to downsize until the halls echoed..."

"The bad news is we've fired 80% of your office. The good news is we're fixing the coffee machine."

'Does anyone else have any complaints?'

"And this is our new HR officer in charge of morale..."

"Yoo hoo, the meeting's over here."

'I said, how do you like my new communication tool?'

"I think you'll like this idea-it's sort of 'dull' meets 'inoffensive.' "

"Without question the funniest patient I’ve ever lost."

Your resume says you were a waiter...

"I don't make the rules around here. I just enshrine them."

'Don't have me beeped, I'll have you beeped.'

No, no, Grok, we love your creative voice! Ort is just here to do a little punch-up.

'You said you wanted more responsibility, so I'm making you responsible for everything that goes wrong.'

''Benefit of the doubt' was our only benefit and now, the company has sent it offshore.'

'I'm fired, am I -- What's that supposed to mean?'

Great coaching is about being specific with feedback.

Who's In Charge Here?

"We added it just for the millenials."

'Looks like Kryson is no longer in the inner circle.'

"It's the new man - he wants to know what the company retirement plan is."

'My office is always open to you Charles, at least until maintenance repairs the door lock.'

"The boss is the fatherly type. He never fires anybody."

'Sure I talk to myself. It's the only way I can have an intelligent conversation round here.'

'They no longer take suggestions but they do offer tissues.'

Pigeon Memos

GDP and G&T.

"I need you to look at the big picture, Boswell. Not the little one of my trophy wife."

"Pay attention when I'm talking to you. I see your eyes darting back and forth between me and the clock."

'This is about the poster isn't it?'