Cctv Commentator Pillows

Man in Gents toilet being watched by CCTV

'Believing any filming experience may help launch acting careers, some even stage their appearances before closed circuit cameras.'

"Well, how do things look from where you sit?"

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

"No, I don't play. I just watch people play on the internet."

Boris in Lockdown

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

How To Make A Pigs Ear Out Of Swine Flu.

Pundits

"As you can see here - slow the tape, guys - these sparks are coming awfully close to the truck's gas tank, an explosive situation indeed..." Every high speed chase needs a color man.

'OK, now you've seen it...'

'We can monitor e-mails and phone calls of everyone in this world but we can't touch Obamacare.'

Covid-19 Leadership

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

Pandemic Jeopardy

Burning

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

Hook them with a crisis.

"It's too academic."

Trump's Nuclear Classified Document Scandal

"Sales rep from Milton Keynes? You prove he no British spymaster who sent you on secret mission to Bananastan?"

Tony Blair in the morning and George Bush in the afternoon. Lulu and Stan were having a good day.

"Tonight's big story... we're leaving you... it's not you, it's us..."

Oink.

'That's the end of the news - (B****RD MEN!!)'

The Great Hunter