Cattle Critiquer Gifts

"Oh shut up."

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

Don't be fooled by the theatrics. She'll only suck your sap!

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Motorherd

'I think I'll go home and eat'

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

Stu just wanted to participate in the outdoor art class. . . alone. . . but Bob went ahead and invited himself anyway. . .

'I'm afraid it's Daddy you have to impress-he's a RSPCA inspector!'

Ranch Dressing

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Meat Department

Cattle farmer's super-market

The Additives Arrive...'This cereal tastes like it has some sodium propionate in it.'

Stealth grazing.

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

Keep the food coming! Three of my four stomachs are still empty

Sick Exhibitionist

"Might I recommend the cud?"

"Don't be fooled, it looks easy but I've yet to meet a dog who's mastered it."

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'

"Trust me, Cattle futures are the last place you want to invest"

"Sure, you used to be a YouTube sensation. But what have you done lately."

"A cat wouldn't answer."