Cattle Commentator Gifts

My mother was the one that pushed me into this business.

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

Motorherd

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

Ranch Dressing

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

Dog's Loo

Hedge of two moo cows

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

Cattle farmer's super-market

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

Dogs at Dog Show Judging the Judges.

"Might I recommend the cud?"

Keep the food coming! Three of my four stomachs are still empty

"Moo-mooo-mooo-moo-mooo-mooo. . . And that was the moos with Dale Wisbey. . ."

'Sure, they're invaders, but you have to agree: Those Vikings have great helmets!'

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'