Cattle Commentators Gifts

One cow to another: 'We should look at rebranding.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

'It's not easy being green on grass!'

Motorherd

'Cool! Brownstar Wars!'

'I told you it wouldn't work.'

Dyslexic Cattle Ranch

"In every situation, an executive has to decide whether to lead by consensus, charisma or cattle prod. Trust me... it's not always this easy!"

Glasses on, Crazy Cowman's secret identity was safe

Cow in a vest: Well, I think I look like Bruce Willis!

Ranch Dressing

"You can achieve anything if you put you mind to it."

"Oh God, yes! I've been a bad cow! Such a bad, naughty cow! Again! Yes!"

"Oh shut up."

'They must have really listened to their mothers about chewing their food.'

"You're not fooling me. I can spot 'fake mews'."

Dog's Loo

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

"No sense of smell, ears plugged and eyes fixed on their phones. I'm telling you, if I weren't domesticated I'd be all over that."

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"Congratulations you've escaped. Now what?"

Hedge of two moo cows

"When I fall in love – It will be.... for heifer..."

'Cows have bellies because their horns don't work.'

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

Cattle farmer's super-market

'One might say the market's gone from the sub-prime to the iniquitous!'

"Might I recommend the cud?"

'I think I've worked out why they fed us so well.'

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'

"Moo-mooo-mooo-moo-mooo-mooo. . . And that was the moos with Dale Wisbey. . ."

Prank Cattle Calls. (mmph)

Stealth grazing.

'Sure, they're invaders, but you have to agree: Those Vikings have great helmets!'