Cat Owner Conspiracies Gifts

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

"And where have you previously moused?"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

Cat with Nine Still Lives

'Nothing impacts my lifestyle choices more than a veterinarian with a scale.'

'Simply put, we are on our ninth life!'

'Waiter, there's a hairball in my soup, too.'

Cat medal presentations take a long time

"We should start wearing masks."

"Do you guys want to go for a walk?"

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

Puss in Heels

The online yoga class was not without interruptions.

String Theory for Beginners.

'Honestly, Harry. It's getting so I can't tell your scratching from the cat's.'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

Cat on guitar

Cat commuting to the living room to knock things down.

'The butler did it.'

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

'No need to thank me, ma'am.'

Cat to owner: 'Define 'affection'.'

"This one seems perfect, but do you have it in red?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"Hey, don't complain. They declawed me!"

"My owner found a mouse in one of his beers and, instead of being grateful, the stupid fool sued the brewery!"

'Tootsie-pie is going to be spaded, just like Mother.'

'Yeah, I don't know why they bought that new one, we haven't finished with this one yet...'

"Occasionally he lobs a brick at the cat."

Dogs looking at cat sleeping. - "What a waste of lifes."