Cat Owner Gifts

"Please hurry - I don't know how long my cat can keep him subdued."

"I'm going out. Do you need any voles?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

The cat had figured out how to work Ebay.

"Honey, I'm home!"

'Well, so much for that theory!'

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

'The cat's finishing off your sudoku again.'

'Did I startle you?'

'Imagine that! You have hairball problems too?'

"I can't decide whether to nap right now or in ten minutes."

Grandma put the cat out for the night

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

'Just what I always wanted.'

Mission statement for cats: To be worshipped like gods.

"You had a mouse for lunch? Why does that not surprise me?"

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

'It's a work in progress of course.'

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?"

"And where have you previously moused?"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

"It's a text from our cat. He want's back in."

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

'That does it. I've got to lose some weight!'

"She's my mother's cat."

Cat drinking baby's bottle of milk.

"Tree's up!"

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

'We all got up here, you'd think one of us would know how to get down.'

"Sure, it's interactive, but it's no Xbox Kinect."

Will Sleep For Food.

'Cats make the best mousetraps.'

MacGyver's Cat: 'You see, I took your bed and two paper clips and made it my bed.'

If only we could learn how to open these things, we wouldn't be dependent anymore...

'Cannibal.'