Cat Owner Gifts

"Please hurry - I don't know how long my cat can keep him subdued."

"I'm going out. Do you need any voles?"

'Will Work For Food, The Take, Like, Two Bites And Walk Away.'

The cat had figured out how to work Ebay.

"Honey, I'm home!"

"..and to my cat, Wilhelm, I leave my wifes best couch."

'The cat's finishing off your sudoku again.'

'Did I startle you?'

"I can't decide whether to nap right now or in ten minutes."

Grandma put the cat out for the night

'Imagine that! You have hairball problems too?'

"Good news—it's not colon cancer, it's tinsel."

"And where have you previously moused?"

"Have you ever wondered what would happen if a giant hair ball were to slam into the earth?"

"You had a mouse for lunch? Why does that not surprise me?"

Cat and dog at a will reading.

'It's a work in progress of course.'

'What makes you think he's got worms?'

"It's a text from our cat. He want's back in."

'You're not doing your job, Angela.'

"To be fair, we can only provide health insurance benefits for only 1 of your 9 lives."

"Tree's up!"

"Hey. We're out of toilet paper."

"She's my mother's cat."

Cat drinking baby's bottle of milk.

'You get kickbacks from Al's Sofa City, don't you, Fluffy?'

'We all got up here, you'd think one of us would know how to get down.'

If only we could learn how to open these things, we wouldn't be dependent anymore...

'Cannibal.'

"I don't think he's wearing that snorkel because he wants to swim with us. Especially, since it's lunch time."

Cat's wine has live fish in it.

Cat Hackers

'Cats make the best mousetraps.'

'You just stood there and let them put a bell on you? -- What were you THINKING?'

'Yes, the old lady left me all her worldly wealth. But what I really wanted was her liver.'