Cat Ownership Gifts

'The good news is that you don't have apnea. The bad news is that Fluffy sleeps on your face.'

"I don't care what the job pays. . . I'm never herding cats again!"

Husband's fantasy catwoman / Husband's reality catwoman.

Cat Thanks.

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

Puffy's Safe Travel Inspection Station

'I must say, your new loo is coming along really nicely.'

"Mouse? No. They contain cheese and I'm lactose intolerant."

Catsulation

"Now you can stop watching those cute cat videos."

'And the cat is due back in 2 weeks.'

'STOP dad! I found Kitty.'

What your pets do when you're not at home.

'I'm the dog he never had.'

'How's your new fish?'

Cat Lover's Leap.

"Around here his word is law."

Hooray for my Cat! who thinks EVERYTHING I DO is fantastic!

"Hurry up. I might want out."

"I don't mind cats, but I'm more of a dogman."

'The royalties from Muffin's internet videos were really good last month!'

"I shouldn't worry if I were you. You have a habit of landing on your feet..!"

'We're gonna need a bigger couch.'

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'

"Just in case I'm in danger of doing something. . . I'm going to take a cat nap."

'Can we talk, Lola?'

Man and his dog both reading Mockingbird books.

Cats prefer the food that people eat.

'Mom, Angelina just had a population explosion!'

"I didn't know you had a vegan cat."

"I see you've met and pet Fluffy."

'I think the cat wants out...'

"I hope you don't mind, I can't sleep without them."

"They say I'm anti social, but that's not true, I like to hang out with you guys. It's just humans I don't like to be around..."

"There he goes, filling their heads with ludicrous conspiracy theories about microchip implants and mass sterilisation programmes…"