Cat Conspirator Gifts

Evil Pusskins#4

We have your dog

"I'll be there in three 'All Too Well's."

'I got 397 dead birds and the mayor breathing down my neck. So, is this our perp or just another copycat?'

"Listen, that's a Tang Dynasty urn we just broke."

"Curiosity."

"Well, if I didn't send away for an entry application to the cat show, and you didn't send away for an entry application, who did?"

"Make it look like nine accidents.'

"The human is back - act normal."

'Tell me where she hides the treats and I'll get you a straw.'

"We get in, we go down, we walk to the Park. I do my business; we're in and out in ten minutes. Anyone asks, you're with me."

Fight-or-Flight Response Study Commission.

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

'I baked it especially for you.'

"I hear he has more than bones buried."

"After you read the menu, eat it."

'Just so you know, I've no intention of sharing a home with either children or cats.'

"The mainstream media has entered into a global conspiracy to make us less popular than dogs."

"There he goes, filling their heads with ludicrous conspiracy theories about microchip implants and mass sterilisation programmes…"

"I can't tell whether my cat is happy or sad."

'So, the rumours are true! You have been friendly with the Postman! My own son! Shame on you!'

'Sammy's going to take you for a little walk.'

"I guess I could include the box... But why would you want it, Mr. Schrödinger?"

"As you persist in pretending to throw that stick, I have retrieved something else. See you in Hell, Hal."

"I think I have allergies to something in this room."

"I can't meet you in the park today. The cats suspect something."

Here lie the earthly remains of Cal Can, beloved town dogcatcher.

'Sign this non-disclosure agreement ? I'm going to use a secret recipe.'

'That's the problem with cats - they can be so destructive.'

The Truth about J.D.'s hatred of Cats.

"I'm from the president's office. We want you to develop a truth drug."

'Look out - a snooper from Environmental Health.'

"It would be cool if we cooked up a couple of these at your place where nobody could see us."

Observe, Prepare, Act

'I must be losing it. I forgot to try to trip someone walking down the stairs today.'