Cat Conqueror T-Shirts

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

'It's nothing serious. Rest is the best cure for binge shopping.'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

Maria had always said you could never have too many shoes. Actually, she was wrong.

"Wait a minute. Have you guys thought about how this thing is supposed to fit in there?"

Crop duster wanted.

"Let's take it again from the top...but this time with more fillings."

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.

'I'd like a few words with you Farnsworth. Aren't those my shoes you're wearing?'

"I have a whole closet full of running clothes I never wear."

"Men just won't leave me alone!"

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

Time to put away your presents. I don't have room. You said you "needed" a new jacket. I do! My old one's too small. Donate it. I would. But I can't get it out of my closet.

It's too hard to clean my closet. Take out everything. Throw them into "keep", "donate" or "toss" boxes. Ok. Done!

'My, that's some cavity' (words echo on)

Art Theft

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

'That was a tough one.' Dentist fell on the ground

Attila is No. 1! We heart Attila! Hooray for Attila! Attila is the man! Yell your king my warriors and I want his castle! Who shall I say is calling?

"Police urge the gunman to turn himself in or, at the very least, let the cat in."

Speleologist

'You idiot! Two is aim, three is fire!'

Fancy portrait of the gentleman who killed the greatest number of small birds. [To be hung up in all sparrow clubs]

"These will make you feel like a kid again... especially when you can't remove the child-proof cap!"

"Easy with that computer, Martha. It senses fear."

"Whoopsy."

Old man with a zimmer frame grittier

"Ahhh, there's nothing like the fifteenth cup of the day."

"Call the pest control people! This is getting out of hand!"

"I want to apologize for some of the remarks I made during the heat of battle."

No way am I sticking my paw in there!

Dental Clinic. Uh-oh, we won't be able to drill our way out of this!

'One cavity in 10 visits.' 'No cavities and no visits.'

"Did we remember to get that thing we came here for?"