Critter Conqueror T-Shirts

The creature dived beneath the stadium turf, and that was the end of the groundskeeper...'

'Jeffrey likes to think of himself as a small game hunter.Actually he's a pest control officer'.

"Are you the folks who called the exterminator?"

Keeping warm.

'That'll teach the pesky python to be greedy and eat all my chickens!'

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

A guide to seasons in the North East

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'Are you kidding, Billy? We climbed all the way up Everest and you forgot the freaking sleds?!'

Yoga To-Do

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

'There's an app you can program to delete your trash? I've had one for years called Dave.'

Crop duster wanted.

"From the wind, the chill and the snow, a god is born."

"I'm going to be vacuuming, if you want to go into the farthest room and start asking me questions."

'One of the good things about being a dung beetle is that my kids are not fussy eaters...'

Firefigher arm-wrestling with a dragon.

"Sometimes Bob just needs a little motivation to get things done around here!"

'Since it's Mother's Day, we'd like you to take the day off.'

"No monsters under this bed! After I cleaned there's no room."

"Walking down here and asking if I can get you some more detergent from the store is just the beginning of my fence-mending agenda."

Whack-A-Chore: "You play it all day, every day, until you can't anymore."

'Really, it will be fine. Go home and give it a try. Wash lights with lights and darks with darks.'

Arctic Weather vs Utility Bills

'Look! I grew a carrot!'

Cleaner being carried away on a magic carpet.

"Thanks for the offer... but I'd rather see if tech support can get my computer running."

"Me, I love vacuuming: it makes the dog next door barking mad! Works every time..."

"Erik does most of his plundering online these days"

'No breakfast until you're finished making your bed, Joey.'

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

"I found a cure for the humongous cold, the extreme cold and the mother of all colds. Why not the common cold?"

To do list

'Why is it I can see what needs doing around here and you can't? . . . I know what cures that. . . 'Chores-ercise'.'

"Well, for starters, you’re holding the shovel all wrong."