Casual Theologian Gifts

People forget, on the 8th and 9th days I created the long weekend.

"Do you honestly believe we evolved from a single snow flake?"

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Nothing like traveling hundreds of miles to immerse yourself in art for the sole purpose of killing time between meals.

At the 2021 Religious Games

I'm not good with names but never forget a face. Of course, that's not very useful right now.

A trevor of trainspotters

"I just haven't been feeling very omnipotent lately."

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

Hot cross buns

'...Sometimes the sheer monotony of it all just gets me down.'

'Hold on, Bob. I'm downshifting.'

"It's a great story, funny and entertaining - and better still it's not won a single prize for literature."

Shallow End (Slightly innocuous statements) - Deep End (a little more weighty)

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

"Dude, Amazon is so popular they named a river after it."

'Do I believe in evolution? - Well, I suppose we should get it over with.'

"Communion at the contemporary service is scones and coffee."

'Fred is a social conservative -- he believes in slow food and heavy beer.'

'Let there be cool.'

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

Church Parking Space Reserved For Sinner Of The Week

Actually, I prefer to think of my body as repurposed.

"Oh, the usual - spreading pestilence and misery. You?"

The Schmoozy Reaper

'I hear he has a reputation as a loose Canon.'

'It's true that I never fulfilled my early promise of greatness, but I DID manage to catch a lot of really outstanding TV!'

"Great sermon! - When it comes to sin, you sure know what you're talking about!"

"Some days I really wish I had finished med school. Not that I ever started med school."

"I've tried Buddhism, Taoism, Transendental meditation, Confucionism, Theolog, Scientgology....but I've found a good hand rolled joint of homegrown works best!"

'It's a doughnut - just eat it!'

'I drink to bring about change.'

"It's beginning to appear as if I'll never have greatness thrust upon me."

'Hey, what's with all this 'God forbid' stuff?'

John the Baptist was clothed in camels hair and eight locusts.