Casual Monarch Gifts

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

'How about a game of cards?'

Uses of a Dead Cat in History: Dead Cat Crown Jewels

"Surprise!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

"Stand up, honey. The president's on. You're committing treason."

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

The Royal Wii.

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

Lion to safari man: 'I'm the king of the jungle and these are my official spokesmen.'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

King completes rubik's cube.

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'