Classic Monarch Buff Gifts

King William IV

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Knight Golfing

"It is we."

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'The Burrito King.'

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

Missing You.

"Scotch and water musick."

Of Mice and Men.

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

Next in Lion

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

The Final Selfie

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

Best mates

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

Knights of the Square Table.

Verbal Orders

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

God save the Queen.

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

"Why, this is fit for me!"

"Stilton's the king, Camembert and chèvre are landed gentry, and cheddars are the serfs, you know."

The King In The Rain.

Kit makes an appointment

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'