Royalty Buff Gifts

Our succession plan is we don't talk about it!

Bug King

'Did I tell you about the power behind the throne?'

Edward I

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

"Being a King Charles spaniel doesn't give you a divine right!"

God save the Queen.

'Sure, you got a mandate from the people, but that was 37 years ago!'

Rule of thumb.

'I was a bank clerk, and one day I charged the King $17.50 for a bounced check.'

'He threw his back out trying to balance the budget.'

'I'm running unopposed in the election, but just for fun let's run nasty, negative campaign anyway.'

'Well - Is our offshore account okay?'

Humpty Dumpty worried about malpractice lawsuit.

Surprise at the Royal Wedding

"He gets all his news from us."

"Things have been quiet for some time in your line of work."

King with a long walk to his castle.

Lumbar Support

"Look! The Emperor has no clothes!"

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

'Oh, quit whimpering! -- Anybody would think that you're the only king in the world who every got his head chopped off!'

'He slew all the dragons on the border, and now we have a big illegal alien problem.'

Royal Fridge Magnet

'Oh, he never worries about assassination -- he can sidestep anything.'

'it wasn't my parents' divorce that traumatized me — it was when my dad had my mom beheaded.'

"Buster the First, King of the Empire and King of Slapstick!"

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

"As usual, you cut everyone's head off in the photos you took."

'Don't ask!'

'Okay, you were right -- beanbag thrones are a dumb idea.'

French King.

"I hate alternative jesters !"

You are awarded the Royal Seal of Approval.

'The crown looks good. I'll just give you a cap, and you'll be all set.'