Classic Monarch Buff T-Shirts

King William IV

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

Swiss army hospital...'scalpel...'

Knight Golfing

'You've made a powerful enemy'

'The Burrito King.'

"It is we."

Missing You.

"Our focus group will butcher your focus group."

"Scotch and water musick."

Tonight: Wagner's Ring Tone Cycle.

Of Mice and Men.

Next in Lion

"To begin with, I would like to express my sincere thanks and deep appreciation for the opportunity to meet with you. While there are still profound differences between us, I think the very fact of my presence here today is a major breakthrough."

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

"Say! While I'm off in the Holy Land, why don't you find a little crusade of some kind that interests you?"

The Final Selfie

Best mates

'I'm a work-at-home dad.'

Knights of the Square Table.

Cello player with pencil instead of bow

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Verbal Orders

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'You can't recuse yourself from a war!'

God save the Queen.

'I hate to tell you this, but there was a hole in my pocket, and I lost the budget surplus.'

'Put the sword back in the stone right now, little girl, and we'll pretend this never happened.'

"Why, this is fit for me!"

'Okay, I admit it - your conspiracy theory was right!'

"Stilton's the king, Camembert and chèvre are landed gentry, and cheddars are the serfs, you know."

'How about that? -- Lady Godiva got a bouffant!'

"With a little luck he'll be a benevolent teenager."

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"