Humor Monarch Gifts

'How about a game of cards?'

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

"Surprise!"

'How about a game of cards?'

"'Conquer Spain'? 'Balance the budget'? 'Reform the justice system'? -- You call this a honey-do list?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Your Grandpa achieved greatness, he thrust greatness upon me, and then you were born great!'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'No, you can't play poker tonight! The last time you played, you lost Schewig-Holstein!'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"I have to admit. You talked a good game."

''Depression'? -- You or the country or both?'

"Of all the labour saving devices invented in the last 70 years, this is one's favourite."

"Don't worry, princess, I'm sure one day your Mr. Divine Right will come along."

'This is great! -- I should have thought of tax simplification years ago!'

'Between you and me Wizard, is it true that you intellectuals have pointed heads?'

King completes rubik's cube.

(Mother Goose: playboy's Mirthful Master of the Macabre serves Up Some Strange Twists On a Clutch of Children's Classics.) "Is this supposed to be somebody's idea of a joke?"

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'He just outlawed his in-laws.'

'You can scratch your back when the war is over!'

"It's either this or a country run by lawyers."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

'I know it seems like a war, but it's actually an all-out struggle for peace!'

"We lost another battle? Why does this keep happening?"

'Let it go, will you? -- That whoopie cushion incident was years ago!'

"Friend or foe?"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Royalty, Episcopacy, and Law.

'Keep it under you hat, but I want you to enrich some uranium.'

"The militant hard-liners are making demands, the fanatical zealots are issuing threats, and the moderate centrists are offering suggestions."

'I wish you wouldn't bring work home with you!'