Monarch Humorist Gifts

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'How about a game of cards?'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"All rise."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

What NASA is not telling us...

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

"His majesty wants to binge-watch some comedy. Can you whip up 10 hours of new material?"

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'Humpty Dumpty hit a wall, and all the kings' men and all the kings' motorcycles' couldn't put him back together again.'

King reaching for an apple

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

"Because I'm the king and I like it better than the old one, that's why."

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

"The flat I rented from you is a pig-sty!"

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'