Monarchy Humorist Gifts

'Do you have any idea how UNPATRIOTIC this is?'

'How about a game of cards?'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

DOWN WITH THE KING!, 'Do you know what the PENALTY is for disturbing the peace during wartime?'

"All rise."

Employees must cleanse souls before returning to work.

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

"That is your will, Your Highness, and this is the will of the people."

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Your idea of ankle monitors for the entire kingdom is not polling well, sire!"

Before you learn to make the perfect ale, my son, you must first learn to make the perfect little bowl of nuts and pretzels.

"My majesty!....Hm....I like the sound of that!"

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

"King of what, exactly?"

'Humpty Dumpty hit a wall, and all the kings' men and all the kings' motorcycles' couldn't put him back together again.'

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

'He has mixed feelings about the trophy — it's a lifetime achievement award from the Anarchists' Association.'

'I WARNED you about community organizers!'

'He's not exactly of noble birth, Daddy, but he IS a slumlord!'

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'I'm going to have to take a day off - to get married!'

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

Publication of Paine's 'Rights of Man'

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

I bragged about catching a fish a meter in lenght but it was the size of a sardine.

"Reason for return?"

Clean for ye Queen

"I've switched from self-flagellation to a high-fiber diet."

"With respect, Your Majesty's involvement with the Yahoo Bootlovers Group is not conducive to the cohesion of the Empire."

"Hey hey we're the monarchy"