Monarch Humorist Pillows

'Some other king called while you were out -- he said it was important.'

'How about a game of cards?'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

"It's time to get politics out of money."

"All rise."

"Deal with it Your Majesty- Comedy is king!"

"I told the cook I would prefer that she use some kind of artificial blackbird substitute."

"King and clown—why can't I be both?"

"I've been bounced a few times, but never deposed."

What NASA is not telling us...

'I did give your brother a job - he's keeping an eye out for forest fires.'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'Sire, the jester is gesturing at you...'

'I'm worried sick -- the King just ordered a bunch of Benny Hill DVD's!'

Jester Cries Over His Replacement

King and clown engage in role reversal.

"Just suck it up and let him continue binge-watching your entire repertoire."

'We've laid it out so that twice a year the sun's rays will penetrate all the way back to the throne and smack him right between the eyes.'

'No, no, no - I said do me a ship in a bottle'

King reaching for an apple

'Let's see ... 'several monarchs form group to request World Bank loans' -- 'Kings Around The Dollar'.'

'Remember when pitchers would walk on their own to and from the mound?'

"I'll need a volunteer from the audience."

'Humpty Dumpty hit a wall, and all the kings' men and all the kings' motorcycles' couldn't put him back together again.'

'Having a lot of underlings doesn't make you an overling!'

"The flat I rented from you is a pig-sty!"

'Funny how his eyes seem to follow you around the room.'

LUDWIG REX, 'I don't like it - It makes me sound like a hairdresser!'

Palanquin Toilet Break

'Mother's visiting next week, so I'd like you to lock up all the dissidents.'

'We've decided to stay together for the sake of Ken's pension.'

'I'll show you my hidden agenda if you'll show me yours.'

'First you drop hints - if that doesn't work, you drop bombs.'