Castle Staff Gifts

"Why can't you bring me a rodent like a normal cat?"

"It's the moat Sire, everyone's just hanging out in it."

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

'What sort of mission statement is that?'

Multi-tasking.

'These are job perks.'

"The president demands that staff take responsibility for failures, and the multi-trillion deficit is down to YOU!"

Hand Sanitizer Man, beloved superhero of every workplace in the world.

'Say, our stress control seminar worked! Our sales are way down...but so what if they are.'

'Due to cutbacks, he lost his company vehicle, so he has to improvise.'

'The ultimate sign of success is when no one puts you on hold.'

Stressed employee says to colleague: 'I think I'm on top of the situation and I hope I'm in the loop, but I can't seem to get ahead of the curve.'

'Congratulations Smith, you got that promotion. Commiserations Reid, you got that demotion.'

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

'He's finally done it - kicked breakfast TV!'

'Need I remind you who's boss here?'

'Once, long ago, I thought I was wrong...but it turned out I was mistaken.'

Busy office.

'Let's pretend I'm a business owner and you're the janitorial service...'

'Normally, I would give credit where credit is due but we're in a credit crunch. Therefore, I will take all the credit for your hard work on this project.'

'You obviously took my suggestion to reduce stress to the extreme.'

"I'm giving you a 300% salary increase, and four months paid leave."

The role of administration.

Brainstorm in progress.

'Tesco's cheif executive meets with staff.'

'I'm afraid I can't take you to my leader without a prior appointment.'

Targets.

Sales.

'It was at this point that the executive group began its hatha flow retreats.'

'Brains...brains...brains...'

'Look Jefferson, much as I respect your emphasis of the informal approach...'

"I intend to stay in this job, come Hell or high water."

"The after-dinner mint is the boss's idea. I think it's superfluous."

"On reflection i think i could have coped with just 340' feedback."

'At this juncture in my presentation, I'd like to dispense with the illusion of coherence.'