Castle Worker Gifts

"Must be the life to work in a castle. You get paid by a rich king and you don’t have to go through every shift smelling elephant butt."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Amusement Park Fun (Country Style).

'How about a game of cards?'

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Free Range Employees.

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"Trust me. Don't do it."

Face Painting.

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Medieval headlines.

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

Clearing the castle's moat.

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"That's the Bronco Whisperer. He'll have that wild stallion broken in a day or two."