Castle Worker Gifts

"Must be the life to work in a castle. You get paid by a rich king and you don’t have to go through every shift smelling elephant butt."

'Here you go, kid! A worm.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'You're overdue for your checkup.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

'How about a game of cards?'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

"Trust me. Don't do it."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Free Range Employees.

Face Painting.

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

Barnum & Bailey's Three Ring Binder

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Forget the palm dearie...I'll read yer race."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Medieval headlines.

Clearing the castle's moat.

'He was leaning out to watch Lady Godiva, and his crown fell into the moat.'

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Balloon animals $5.00"