Castle Climbers Gifts

Early Resentment Towards Yuppies.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I can't believe I didn't get that promotion. So many people have passed me by I feel like a road sign on the highway to success.'

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"What the hell took so long?"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

Painting

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"