Castle Explorers Gifts

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

Early Goths.

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

' Of course you can see your lawyer..Here he is.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Local Knowledge

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"He's his own worst enemy."

Try me/try me/try me...

"What the hell took so long?"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Quantum Psychic

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

The discovery of electricity...

'It's an antique!'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."