Castle Explorers T-Shirts

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

Early Goths.

'He's at a family reunion down in the dungeon.'

' Of course you can see your lawyer..Here he is.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

Local Knowledge

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Try me/try me/try me...

"What the hell took so long?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

Quantum Psychic

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

The discovery of electricity...

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'It's an antique!'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

"Professor, this changes everything."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Sometimes, plastic in the ocean isn't bad... Ooh, that bottle cap will make a lovely bowl for Ed and Nicole!"