Castle Adventurer T-Shirts

'Are you crazy? Kings can't take sabbaticals!'

"His royally down-to-earth Highness will see you now."

A rural castle retreat; the sign shows that there is WiFi access.

Miniature Golf.

King has long walk to castle.

'That's one of our fortified wines.'

Man in a Tuxedo

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Bad for you but to die for

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'We'll take it!'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'I think they're up to something.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

'The knights are drawing closer'