Castle Adventurer Gifts

Early Battering Rams

'Are you crazy? Kings can't take sabbaticals!'

"His royally down-to-earth Highness will see you now."

A rural castle retreat; the sign shows that there is WiFi access.

Miniature Golf.

King has long walk to castle.

'That's one of our fortified wines.'

Man in a Tuxedo

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Bad for you but to die for

"He's his own worst enemy."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"What the hell took so long?"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'We'll take it!'

"This is the World Bank? Somehow, I had pictured it differently."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'I think they're up to something.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Bankside