Castle Exploration Gifts

"That's it, now press, send."

"Security is lax on this side."

"And to think he started in accounting."

Battle.

"Uh-oh! - That was the window cleaner. . ."

"The clerk will call the roll."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'The King will be out shortly - he's on the throne.'

Early Goths.

'The neighbors called to complain about your armor squeaking again.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

...And IIII meeeaaan big. Put up a good fight, too - but we got him... So, what do you wanna do with these?

Medieval soldiers on a bouncy castle

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

"Davina McCall: Life at the Extreme takes a celebrity to the most extreme places on Earth!"

The fate of the emigrant

The experienced backpacker.

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

"You say it all the time, so I climbed every tree to prove it. You were right, money doesn't grow on trees."

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

"The Ice Age must've caught him by surprise..."

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Alien David statue

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Winter Coat Check at a Tropical Destination's Airport

"Let's start with an icebreaker..."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

'I want to visit the very EDGE of civilisation, to explore the BRUTAL shores of natures most REMOTE regions. If you could manage that with a five star hotel and first class travel it would be perfect.'

"Congratulations, Amruk. You prove they do exist."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

An astronaut fishes in volcanoes on another planet.

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'