Exploring Castles Gifts

'That's one of our fortified wines.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"What the hell took so long?"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"