Visiting Castles Gifts

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

Knight walking a dog.

Fairytale prince and princess

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"