Visiting Castles T-Shirts

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

Fairytale prince and princess

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Knight walking a dog.

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon