Exploring Castles T-Shirts

'That's one of our fortified wines.'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Bob, the whole Cupid thing is a metaphor."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"