Castle Tours Gifts

Castle drawbridge opens to reveal a dishwasher

'Nice siege!'

Castle with parking lot.

Looks like this siege could last awhile, sire -- The huns are building microbreweries!

"I was hoping they'd settle for a spot of graffiti!"

Knights ride out of a castle.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"He's his own worst enemy."

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"This is a little awkward, but you've been our guest for a while now, and we all have work in the morning..."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"