Castle Tour Guide Gifts

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

The Vineyard

Tourists

'What the... MOM! This isn't deer! It's a yucky tourist again!!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

Leaning Tower -After a bottle, Jean noticed the tower stopped leaning.

"Hmm...well...It'll look better when it's finished...!"

"Great cruise except the zip lining got flooded."

"I said I wanted to visit the Brandenburg Gate."

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'I think you're getting the hang of it.'

Culture Saturday

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'That's about it so far, Son.'

'The ghost walks this passage every night Monday to Friday. He has weekends off.'

'Now that's an afro!'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

Fishing sign.

"I was sent down to the minors and from there to Europe, and one thing just led to another."

Sparkling Water

Washington D.C., Acronym Capital of the World

Tourists and their Pets.

"Ooooh, I bet that feels nice."

'What's with the overnight bag, Orville?'

'Echo Tourism'

"He's his own worst enemy."

'Hey - I love your new Bermuda triangle shorts.'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"For the last time, I’m not Bigfoot — I’m Larry from Vermont!"

"When are they going to change the 'feature'?"

Leaning Wine Bottle of Pisa