Castle Gifts

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"What the hell took so long?"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Early model of baggage claim"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

'So far we're holding off overseas competition.'

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Fairytale prince and princess

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Knight walking a dog.