Castle Creator Gifts

'Somebody has to look out for the middle class.'

'Hurry, wipe it off before Dad comes home!'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Building Sandcastles.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"I find you can't have too many man caves."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

Vincent Van Og.

Hello from the shed.

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"He's writing a novel for the first time in decades. It has less to do with the urge to create or say something new, and more to do with the fact that all his previous books are now out of print."

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

Fairytale prince and princess

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"One of you go see who's at the door."

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

Scratching the door to get out is easy --- it's getting back in that's the problem.

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"Ah, Master Turnip, I see you're on a defence contract too!"