Creative Castle Designer Gifts

Building Sandcastles.

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

Tree house.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Fairytale prince and princess

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

Castle Cellars: Bob's Basement Waterproofing

"Friend or foe?"

King uses drawbridge as wheelchair ramp to his van.

"Ah, Master Turnip, I see you're on a defence contract too!"

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

"This spectacular 40 room property has majestic views of the valley and village and it was tastefully renovated after the most recent Viking incursion."

"One of you go see who's at the door."

Castle Realty. Of course, for resale value, I'd suggest converting the dungeon into a rec room.

Actually, I slayed it for the castle's resale value, but don't tell her that.

Scratching the door to get out is easy --- it's getting back in that's the problem.