Castle Design Gifts

'...and why do they call this a 'battlement'?'

"This is the first time you've ever planned a moat, I'm guessing?"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

Building Sandcastles.

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"What did you just say? Did you just say 'Christmas'?!!"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Clearing the castle's moat.

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Fairytale prince and princess

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Knight walking a dog.

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"It's the battering classes"

Beware of the Dragon

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

"And to think he started in accounting."