Castle History Gifts

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

'What's the score?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"What the hell took so long?"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Early model of baggage claim"

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Fairytale prince and princess

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"I have to pee!"

"We'll settle this the old-fashioned way - with a dance-off."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"