Castle History T-Shirts

Bob's last days as moat monitor.

'What's the score?'

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Fairytale prince and princess

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Knight walking a dog.

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

'You might want to try another photographer, Sire. This one tends to cut the heads off.'