Castle Lore Gifts

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"What the hell took so long?"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

Fairytale prince and princess