Castle Lore Gifts

No, you were supposed to check the doorbell camera before lowering the drawbridge.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Society for the preservation of dragons - "You don't want them to become extinct do you."

'Don't look at me like that! You're the one who wanted to live in a bouncy castle!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Whosoever slays this dragon may marry the princess."

"What the hell took so long?"

'You've got to cure my sleepwalking, Doc - I keep falling into the moat!'

"Early model of baggage claim"

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

"This makes Pamplona seem like child's play."

In case of emergency - use tin opener...

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

"Hurry up with that dictionary!"

Childrens Books. This pop-up book would make a great 3-D movie!

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'Don't bother Daddy -- He fell in the moat again.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"The guide book sys it's the best B.&B. in the Carpathians."

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

"Is 'family' friend of foe?"

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Clearing the castle's moat.

Knight walking a dog.

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"I have to pee!"

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."