Castle Fantasists Gifts

Having a welcome mat and a moat sends mixed messages.

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Lady of the bath...

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'I think they're up to something.'

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'I'm upgrading our entertainment center.'

'The knights are drawing closer'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

This castle manager job better be for real.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

Fairytale prince and princess

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"Ahh, shade."

Knight walking a dog.

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

"Oh no! - Here comes the National Trust again!!"

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"It's the battering classes"