Castle Fantasists T-Shirts

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

Lady of the bath...

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Kissable Frogs in Your Area

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

'I think they're up to something.'

'No, no, no, Rapunzel. You hair, your hair! Not your bloody hare...'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'I'm upgrading our entertainment center.'

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

'The knights are drawing closer'

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

This castle manager job better be for real.

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"Today we're going to talk about lowering the drawbridge."

Fairytale prince and princess

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

Knight walking a dog.

"Never gonna give thou up -- Never gonna let thou down -- Never gonna run around and desert thouuuuuu."

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'

"Ahh, shade."

'Is "I'll huff and I'll puff till I blow your castle down" the best intimidation we can come up with!!'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

"Enemies, yes, but doesn't your moat also keep out love?"

"The peasants have lost all respect for the moat."

"Hang on a tick, lads, what have we here?"

"It's the battering classes"

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"