Castle Fanatic Gifts

Air boulder.

"I said hot, boiling oil! Not cold, refreshing milk!"

'Another failure to communicate?'

"...but you said it was your dream to spend the night in a castle."

'Ed, see if you can find out why Henderson, Morgan and Caldwell are building a moat around their building.'

'This ought to teach them a lesson.'

Castle: "Who is it?"

Ambushing A Castle With A Giant Key.

Bouncy castle for hire

"It's another birthday card for me...!"

Ram Raiders deterred due to wet paint.

"Sire, the barbarian's are no longer at the gate...they're inside it!"

"For the umpteenth time, Majesty...yet, it is indeed, one hell of a moat!"

"My King, our siege machines cannot breach the defences. The enemy has a bouncy castle!"

'Sire, your new fortress was fine for your nephew's fifth, but I fear it is set for a sterner test.'

'A portcullis is SO yesterday!'

"What sorcery be this? Thine castle is bouncy!"

'We're gonna need a bigger moat...!'

"He's his own worst enemy."

"Early model of baggage claim"

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

'This seems like a good time to get rid of some of the king's junk.'

Castle, Cafe + Gift Shop.

'Sure, real estate prices are sky-high, but kings don't sell their castles, and that's that.'

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

'I think they're up to something.'

Bubble; 'This castle manager job better be for real.'

"Before I fight this dragon and rescue you, can I ask a few questions? Like, do you want kids? What's your passion? Where is 'home' to you? Do you have a financial philosophy?"

'Damn, I knew that disabled access would be our undoing.'

'The knights are drawing closer'

Oh, the armor is state of the art

"We've decided to convert the dungeon into studio apartments, so kill all the prisoners."

Knight sees sign near castle: 'Prince's Parking, All Others Will Be Toad.'

"You fools! That's not the boiling oil, that's my beef casserole!"

'Rapunzel, Rapunzel! Let down your hair extensions.'